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posted by: surrogate (reply) post date: 01.23.07 (12:52 pm) More unanswerable questions. Questions like these run through my head for hours most days, and my answers for them are as ethereal and wispy as anyone else's. I've often thought that heaven would be, not in finding out definitive answers for them, but rather, in having them disappear from my thoughts altogether. I'm quite sure hell would be having them take on an even greater significance and/or a more persistent presence in my consciousness. The streets I walk down are quite busy enough, and, as you point out, are full of people who see them, and therefore navigate them, quite differently. posted by: SupremeAnna (reply) post date: 01.23.07 (5:36 pm) Sometimes I like to think about the "big" questions. It keeps me humble, to know that there are things no one can ever know. It keeps me sane, knowing there are things no one can ever control. Thanks for posting. posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.25.07 (6:27 am) Reply to: SupremeAnna thanks, supreme. i wonder how many things there are out there--things that we can't actually control. or, whether it's our responsibility to try, even if we can't control them. taboo posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.25.07 (6:34 am) Reply to: surrogate pure hell. this post comes from trying to respond to a friend's bad news. when i wrote back to her, my first attempt was to identify how she must be feeling. my second attempt was to empathize. my third attempt was to scrap all of my attempted drafts and try to forget. i don't know. no condolence is ever enough, but you have to try. and maybe by being a little selfish--by saying how YOU feel--by being honest, maybe that's enough. taboo posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.25.07 (6:35 am) Reply to: surrogate pure hell. this post comes from trying to respond to a friend's bad news. when i wrote back to her, my first attempt was to identify how she must be feeling. my second attempt was to empathize. my third attempt was to scrap all of my attempted drafts and try to forget. i don't know. no condolence is ever enough, but you have to try. and maybe by being a little selfish--by saying how YOU feel--by being honest, maybe that's enough. taboo posted by: surrogate (reply) post date: 01.25.07 (2:39 pm) Reply to: tabootenente I'm sure it has to be enough, because as you pointed out, it's all you can do, and anyway, it's probably all we do when we empathize too. I suppose we can do, or be, the one thing it seems most people need at some point when grieving: be an ear. posted by: coccinella (reply) post date: 01.27.07 (11:56 am) .. or maybe just BE. near. I don't have courage to speak to person who suffers from something I have never felt (lived). For example a miscarriage. It seems so terrible to live. I feel-I have no right to speak about it. But everyone lives his own tragedies. A year ago I lived (I've still living) my own pain. I told me than: now, you can speak with person who suffer the same. No, I am not glad that I have my own pain, but if I don't have a choice, I try to find some advantages of this situation. PS. Thanks for your nice comment on my blog. You were very indulgent towards me and my English. But I know that I have a lot of problems not only in writing but also in understanding. So if I misunderstood something or wrote badly, sorry. PS2. You write too many questions ;) posted by: LadyG (reply) post date: 01.27.07 (4:14 pm) Excellent post taboo. posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.28.07 (10:12 am) Reply to: coccinella the right to speak--yes, i guess that's the issue. the whole deal falls somewhere between "do i have the right to speak?" and "i have the responsibility to speak." we have to try to speak, or else how will we be there for the people who need us? we never have the right to speak, because we can never really get into the shoes of anyone else. but we have to try because, well, because what else can we do? "you are embarked. you must gamble." -- pascal taboo posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.28.07 (10:13 am) Reply to: surrogate also true. and listening is too important not to try to do well. and maybe it's the hardest thing of all. taboo posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 01.28.07 (10:14 am) Reply to: LadyG thanks, lady. posted by: coccinella (reply) post date: 01.28.07 (2:02 pm) Reply to: tabootenente we can listen, we can be together, we can try do to what the person seems like us to do (one person wants us to speak, another maybe not). One thing is certain to me - we shouldn't escape. posted by: commontater (reply) post date: 02.06.07 (8:02 pm) Exquisitely rendered rumination. PuC posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 02.10.07 (9:34 am) Reply to: coccinella i agree. we shouldn't escape--and i don't think we really can. we can always try to repress our response, but that leads to shadows and schisms, like Jung says. taboo posted by: tabootenente (reply) post date: 02.10.07 (9:34 am) Reply to: commontater thank you very much, commontater. taboo |
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There are emotions that I couldn't possibly know, or feel, or experience. But I do, anyway.